Brexit bonkers

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Faces are always recognised
Bonkers

Edwin Phillips listens as two nervous Welsh voters (V1 and V2) return to discuss politics and how their loans could be affected, after the former Chief Executive of a building society warned that Brexit could stop lending to long-term projects in Wales.

V!: (Nervously) I talked it over with my missus and I am worried.

V2:  (Coughs) yes… me too.

V1:  (Scratches head) after all, that bloke, Graeme Yorston, who used to be in charge of the Principality (Building Society) said banks could go into “risk-averse mode”.

Money counts

I know he was only talking about businesses, but I am pretty risky.

V2:  (Voice breaking) yes.

That lot in Westminster saying Brexit would strengthen “financial services relationships with non-EU countries” only makes me more worried.

It’s nothing to smile about

V1:  (Clears throat) exactly.

He said:  “I think the whole uncertainty and the lack of answers… undoubtedly mean that banks and indeed building societies tend to think about things perhaps with a little bit more of a risk-averse perspective”.

He was in charge of the Principality for five years, so he knows his onions.

(Starting to laugh) do you remember “SAVE WITH THE PRINCIPALITY”?!

Well, I’m not!

I’ll keep all my money under the mattress when this Brexit thing happens!

V2:  (Coughing again) I’m with you on that.

 

Brexit makes a lot of sense for everyone

Brexit is bonkers anyway.

(To self) they both begin with ‘b’ too – perhaps I can do something with that with my mates down the pub; ‘BREXIT BONKERS’.

(Louder) I read in the paper there is no way they are going to do all the stuff that is needed in two years!

Brexit could leave us naked

V1:  (Sounding knowledgeable) Ponty rugby club is more likely to come back instead of the regions, than they will do it all in two years!

My mate said we haven’t negotiated a trade treaty since we went in in 1973.

That posh bloke Sir Simon Fraser, who was in the Foreign Office until two years ago said as much.

(Clears throat) he reckons we have to have a transitional arrangement because there is “no way” a deal will be finalised.

V2:  Yes, I saw that.

The Tories say they are in full agreement on Brexit

(Also clearing throat) wasn’t he the one who said we’d been “a bit absent” from the Brexit negotiations because those Tories have been fighting like cats in a sack?

(Sighs) the whole thing is more ridiculous than me saying I do lots of stuff around the house!

That new department {Department for International Trade (Dit)} – what a joke that is.

Major negotiations are taking place over fishing rights

They couldn’t negotiate a deal on my Fish and Chips!

V1:  (Also knowledgeably) I know.

They have already had to fork out loads on getting people (Parliamentary answers have revealed the UK Government has spent over £1.15 million on headhunters and recruitment consultants).

V2:  (Gloomily) that’s more than my loans.

I am ‘risk-averse’ too…

 

 

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The Eye
The Eye is edited by Phil Parry. Phil is a former BBC news and current affairs reporter. He is winner of the BT Wales award for journalist of the year, BT Wales TV reporter of the year and radio reporter of the year. His programmes have won in the current affairs category of the Royal Television Society and BAFTA Cymru. Phil has presented Panorama programmes, Newsnight films and BBC 2’s Public Eye. For 10 years he was the face of BBC Wales TV current affairs programme Week in, Week Out. He was a reporter on the evening TV news programme ‘Wales Today‘ and has presented numerous daily radio programmes. Phil has also worked on local and UK newspapers. If you have a story you wish us to investigate then get in touch. We treat your disclosures in total confidence and with the journalistic integrity you would expect from our professional team.

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