Two South Wales valleys voters (V1 and V2) return to dissect with Edwin Phillips, Welsh First Minister Carwyn Jones’ comment that the deal with the DUP was a “straight bung”.
V1: (Gloomily) as though that is going to do any good.
V2: (Cautiously) mind you I am with him.
After all, that ridiculous deal with the bunch of bigots weeks later was a bribe so the DUP prop up this useless minority Tory Government.
(Growing more confident) anyway they’ve just announced that women from Northern Ireland will be able to have terminations on the NHS in Great Britain.
And the only proper grown-up in the Tory cabinet, Philip Hammond, has told MPs they will fund abortions in England for women from Northern Ireland.
The Paisley lot won’t like that!
V1: (Sternly) yes of course Carwyn was right when he said it was a “straight bung to keep a weak prime minister and a faltering government in office”, and it was the headline in The Times.
But nothing will actually HAPPEN.
Even his Scottish non-mate (SNP leader Nicola Sturgeon) was stronger.
V2: (Changing tack) er, you’re right there.
She said: “In concluding this grubby, shameless deal the Tories have shown that they will stop at nothing to hold on to power – even sacrificing the very basic principles of devolution”.
That suit (former permanent secretary to the Treasury, Nick Macpherson) tweeted: “DUP will be back for more … again and again. They have previous in such matters”.
V2: (Apparently changing tack yet again) the DUP seem pretty upbeat about it all though.
Their deputy leader and MP Nigel Dodds, said any outrage at the deal was “hypocrisy of the highest order”, and reckoned it would deliver for everyone.
V1: (Angrily) yeah, right.
They know the truth – they have managed to wangle more money out of the Tories for Northern Ireland for propping them up with a ‘confidence and supply’ motion.
V2: (Nodding) it’s certainly a lot of money.
An extra £354 per person in Northern Ireland over two years is not to be sniffed at.
They already get loads.
Figures show they already have the highest public expenditure per person but made the lowest tax contribution – £14,018 per head of population each year compared with £13,054 in Scotland, £12,531 in Wales and £11,297 in England.
That’s from the ONS (Office for National Statistics) too!
(To self) where does that money come from anyway – I thought we were meant to be in an age of austerity?!
V2: (Triumphantly) well – we’ve had all that money for the death-trap road the ‘heads of the valleys’.
(To self) er, that was EU money in fact, and I voted for Brexit.