Armed to lying teeth

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You must be able to sell the fact this was published recently

After hearing a controversial speech from the founder of a new Welsh independence party, Edwin Phillips reads an advert for a press officer with the party being created by an elderly right wing blogger linked to paramilitary organisation, Free Wales Army (FWA) which was exposed by The Eye. 

 

An exciting opportunity exists for a media officer in a new party where we proudly believe in the armed struggle.

Apart from knowing you have served the cause of a Wales run by us, you will be richly-rewarded with a salary of two groats a year.

Another recently published picture you must sell

The concept of a ‘free’ press must be disavowed because it was invented by the lying left wing media.

It is essential to be able to present the good side of the fact we have published a picture of a man with a gun on our blog (the leader of the FWA, Cayo Evans).

Arms are to be welcomed, and you should be able to promote their use.

You must also possess the ability to inform the public of the importance of military uniforms, like the one we put on the blog of comrade Dennis Coslett.

Speaking the truth as ‘Parry’ did will not be required

You will be expected to describe anyone who disagrees with us as “a mad dog” and slash car tyres.

You must also prompt supporters to make threatening phone calls to those who attack us, like the one that was made to a critic with the message: “I will do your fucking head in”.

Other critics in the lying left wing media must be identified.

Such as the Editor of that awful website The Eye, Phil Parry, who was correctly called “a lying bastard” and “vermin” on our blog.

Guns are very important in this organisation

It will be your job to improve on our description of him as “that lying bastard Phil Parry (who) never misses an opportunity to twist or invent ‘facts’”.

Parry is a member of the Labour party or the police (one of the two) and your role will be to avoid these.

You must overcome the fact that he has in fact published pieces critical of the Labour party and the police.

The role will entail informing the public about the actions of certain hotels in Aberystwyth which refused to allow us a meeting room.

You must train your sights on the opposition

Officials at one particular hotel should be publicised on the day you join, for telling us they had “… concerns (and) we have cancelled your meeting room with full refund of payment”.

You must be able to explain the importance of a ‘tourist tax’ and publicise the views of other fellow-travellers, like the one who promoted a petition calling for social housing only for people from Wales.

You should be able to attack families from London who took houses from a Welsh housing association, and call them ‘perverts’ as we did on our blog.

You will be expected to accumulate awards except the full of shit award

Use of pictures is essential.

For example we have used an aerial picture singling out homes taken by those who came to Wales from London.

However you will not be expected to attack the Paralympics and call them a “Victorian freak show” as we did on our blog, or that you are awarded the ” Full of Shit award” by The Republic website like we were.

Leave that to us.

Thanks to our cartoonist Gil Pitt.

Check your knowledge of today’s events as revealed on The Eye, with our brilliant interactive quiz:  

 

Tomorrow, the senior politicians who have condemned Welsh councils for breaking the law by putting millions of pounds of tax payers money into fossil fuel companies which damage the climate.

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